Cheez-Not-Its

Can somebody tell me why no big box store, or grocery store brand has managed to come close to making a replica of this favorite snack food of mine?

In a world where store brands copy other types of foods AND medicines perfectly, this is the one thing I have never found a substitute for, in the store brands, which are usually cheaper. Lets take Target for example. They have a "Berry Crunch" store brand cereal that tastes EXACTLY like Cap'n Crunch Berry Cereal. I mean so much so that if you put Target's version and the original Cap'n Crunch in a blind taste test, I would not even be able to tell them apart. Same with Target's Cinnamon Toast Crunch ripoff. Their store brand ibuprofen manages to relieve my head and muscle aches just as quickly as name brand Advil. Their store brand baby formula keeps my baby knee deep in nutrition just as well as Enfamil does, at a fraction of the cost. Everything is exactly like it's name brand counterpart. EXCEPT FOR THE CHEEZ-ITS!!

I better take the time to mention now, that this isn't a tyrade on Target. I'm just using them as an example, since everybody knows the name. But it's the exact same with Walmart, Ralphs, Tops, Wegmans, P&C, and other grocery stores across the board.

I have YET to come across a store brand Cheez-It ripoff that comes anywhere CLOSE to the original cheesy greatness. There's got to be a reason why nobody can duplicate it. I just had the Target version the last grocery trip and it was just nasty compared to the original. I'm going to research this further, since it's bugging the crap out of me. Maybe I'll start my own plant where I'll do nothing but devote my life to the pursuit of manufacturing the PERFECT Cheez-It clone.

Road Sign Review

Yesterday, while I was running late getting from Hailey's Summer Camp to my work in the morning, I found that there is a need for a review of what street signs mean. It seems as people are ignoring them now, or are just not able to read them, due to a rampant illiteracy problem. Here are a few that I struggled with on the road yesterday morning, which resulted in a lot of anxiety, screaming/yelling, and anger. Help keep our streets safe from me, people.

This sign, as is written on it, states that the speed limit in the zone that it is present in, is 55 mph. That's 55 miles per hour, for those that don't know what mph stands for. 55 MILES PER FUCKING HOUR!!! NOT 40 or 45!!! IM LATE YOU STUPID RED VAN WITH ONLY ONE OLD MAN IN IT!! I'm sorry you can't drive your molesta-van faster than 45 while you're scouting for stray little kids to lure with candy, but some of us have to GET TO WORK! Some of us don't molest kids for a living!

This sign, like is written on it, states that the speed limit for the zone it is present in is 30 mph, or 30 miles per hour. NOT 20!!! THAT'S RIGHT NOT TWENTY FUCKING MILES PER HOUR!! I'm talking to YOU, hippy lady in the grey Subaru!! Some of us have to get to work, and don't have time to drive 20 miles per hour at 8 AM to look around dizzy from our patchouli insense burning in the car, and 2 ounces of weed we just fucking smoked to 'totally notice how rad the trees look in the morning'. FUCK YOU!

And finally we have this motherfucker. It clearly states that the 15 MPH speed is only in effect at the times listed on SCHOOL DAYS!! HEY YOU FUCKHOLE IN THE BEAT UP PINTO! I know it's been ages since you got kicked out of elmentary school for being borderline retarded, BUT SINCE WHEN IS ANY DAY IN JULY EVEN CLOSE TO A SCHOOL DAY!!! SCHOOLS OUT IN MAY, JUNE AT LATEST DIPSHIT!! Get off the road, stop driving, keep picking your nose, and admiring your boogies, and let me get to work!! Or maybe you're a molester like the first asshole going 45 in a 55 zone, driving by the school depressed, as you think about how much more lively and exciting it was when there were hundreds of kids skipping to school at that time, during the regular school year. Either way, get off my road ASSHOLE!

Phew, that was better than therapy. Seriously, follow the signs people.

TV Recommendations

We've been huge fans of this show from the beginning. This weekend we got the chance to watch the final season, and it is hands down the most drama filled, tense, anxiety inducing show you will probably see. Check it out. It ended wonderfully as well.






We've been huge fans of Weeds since season 1. If you haven't peeped it yet, you're truly missing out. Hilarious, quirky, and brilliant writing.

4th of July Weekend = Game Over

I can't believe the 4th of July Weekend is over. I woke up early most of the days, which tends to extend the feel of the days, and it STILL slipped away from me before I was ready. But, I guess we're never ready for long weekends to slip into the past.

Friday was awesome. We woke up early, as usual, because we still had to take Hailey to her Summer camp, and the baby to her daycare, so that Katie and I could have our date day we had been planning. We spent the morning walking around various stores and doing miscellaneous errands, waiting for our movie to start at noon. At noon, we saw The Hangover. It was my second time, but I wanted to make sure Katie saw it, since I saw it alone my first time. As I expected she laughed her ass off, just as I did.

After the movie, we went to Hailey's Summer Camp, because they were having their end of week family activities and cookout. We got to hang out with Hailey while we saw some presentations, and we all made gourd necklaces together. Hailey is really loving her Summer Camp, and we're all so lucky that she was able to go somewhere really cool this year, thanks to the in-laws help. Well, we couldn't stick around for the cookout, since we had to pick up Ashlyn still from daycare, so we left early.

Saturday, our friend Jen and her husband Dana and their 50 kids came over, since none of us had plans, and Katie and I made dinner. I wasn't sure if it was going to rain or not, so I made BBQ pulled pork in the Crok Pot, and Katie made homemade mac-n-cheese w/ bacon, and salt potatoes. It was pretty good. Hailey had fun with their kids, and before they left I managed to hit their daughter in the face w/ a flying foam covered baseball bat. It was an accident, of course...or was it? LOL, nah, it really was. I felt so horrible, but she seemed to be okay. I also got a chance to fish early that morning. The pulled pork takes 10 hours, and our plans were for 3pm, so I got up at 4:30 in the morning to put it in, and knew that I wasn't going to be going back to sleep, so I just went fishing instead. Sucks trying to fish from Dryden Lakes shores...it's more of a boat lake. There aren't many good spots to fish from on its shores.

Sunday we just chilled. I actually got to sleep in until 8:30. We sat around finishing The Shield's final season. Goddamn, that's an awesome show, and it ended awesomely as well. Katie went to do laundry, while I watched the baby for a couple of hours. I did some gardening, and Katie got to catch up on sewing. It was just a really chill day, which felt good.

Tomorrow it's back to work. BLEH!!!